You can’t go back

One of the things Hutch and I have been missing are our daily walks around the river. Short ones to the bottom of the garden or long ones to the quarry 3km’s away and back. I have been setting aside Wednesday mornings to drive out of the reserve to find side roads that allow her to run a little.

This morning I was drawn back to the quarry and resolved to do the 3km walk in reverse. I knew one of the reasons was to take the opportunity to look the farm over. To revisit the dam and river that had meant so much to us both. Amazing how you can justify anything to the voice in your head!

We took a long slow drive along the game viewing roads enjoying the sight of the summer babies, impala, wildebeest, giraffe and lots of fluffy zebra.

On the drive to the quarry it was clear that no one had driven these private roads in a long time. Our family know the farm well and we have all spent many happy hours on Kaallaagte thanks to the generosity of its owners. The recent heavy rains had gouged out the twin dirt tracks and the river was still swollen with flood waters.

Hatchiko and I set off through grass taller than my head and made our way swiftly to the river to increase the sightability around us. Always a good thing to do in a reserve that contains dangerous game! Once we got to the river she immediately headed into the water lying down to submerge herself fully and drinking deeply as if to reassure herself that she was indeed in ‘her’ river. We wondered uphill to clamber over the rocky cliff as the flood waters had covered many of our old paths with thick muddy water. As soon as we were near the old river walk we went down through a short stretch of grassland towards the riverine vegetation and the trees that are familiar friends.

While we were still in the grasslands Hatchiko started wining and lay down on her side. Always fearful of snake bites I gave her a once over finding nothing. I tried to give her water to drink but she refused. She was unsettled and appeared to just be generally unhappy. After sitting with her for a while I coaxed her up and we continued down towards the river.

Just ahead I noticed the grass had been flattened and deep gouges in the earth showed where a large animal had been that way not long before us. Hatchiko’s ears were down and she showed clear signs of wanting to return the way we had come. Not pulling but just quietly insistent.

I was so close to my favorite walk along the river bank that I was reluctant to turn around. While I was hesitating a deep blowing sound came from the underbrush ahead. Slowly I accepted the many messages posted for me – turn around and leave. You can’t go back.